The Six Human Needs
All human behavior is driven by the instinct to fulfill one or more of six fundamental human needs.
Unhappiness, emotional distress and all dysfunctional behavior arises from an individual’s inability to find a consistent way to meet his/her Six Human Needs, in a positive way.
A life of fulfillment requires all six needs are met in a positive way on a consistent basis.
THE SIX HUMAN NEEDS ARE:
Love & Connection
The need to feel love from and for, and connection with others. The need to bond, experience intimacy, to feel oneness.
The need to feel that you have meaning to others, you are unique, special, important. (NB: potential conflict with the need for Love & Connection)
Certainty or Comfort
The need for the feeling that everything is settled, secure, and that there are no nasty surprises around the corner.
Uncertainty or Variety
The precise opposite, and potentially in conflict with the need for Certainty. The need to feel that life is interesting, diverse, exciting and challenging.
Everyone, without exception, finds a way to get these first four needs fulfilled, even if it is in a very low quality and sometimes negative way. For instance, the compelling, overwhelming need for Love & Connection explains why someone will stay in an abusive relationship. As terrible as the abuse is, it is a form of connection. Without appropriate help the individual chooses to stay, over the uncertainty of leaving, with the fear of living without any kind of connection.
The fifth and sixth needs are not met by everyone, yet their consistent attainment is the key to a life of fulfillment. Survival is possible, indeed common, without fulfilling these two needs. The life you want and deserve, however, is not.
The need for the feeling that we are growing, intellectually, spiritually, physically…
The need to feel that we are giving of ourselves for the benefit of other living things – that we are contributing to life itself…Everyone has their own unique requirements for the fulfillment of each of the six human needs. The degree to which those requirements are being met in a positive, high quality and sustainable way defines the overall quality of life